Cult-Trash-Badass-Cinema -and more…

Archive for May, 2012

IRON SKY (2012)


Directed by TIMO VUORENSOLA

 This film had a lot of online buzz, and it was almost impossible not to stumble upon it in the last year or two.

I understood it was financed by the fans, but reading more about it, it was just a million out of 7, 5 million Euros in total. Still impressive , and the fans also could participate by naming characters from the film or add ideas to the  story. Merchandise was available, long before the film came to theatres. They are asking quite much for the stuff, but if it helped finance the movie, hell. The budget of 7,5 million euros (roughly 10 million dollars) has been put on the screen, and it looks great!

It is a dark comedy, spiked with satire and myths about the Nazis.

Made by the same guys from Energia Productions,  who brought us STAR WRECK, a successful indie parody of Star Trek. Financed by finnish, german and australian film production companies.  Made by people with a clear vision and love for what they are doing, Iron Sky didn`t disappoint me. It exceeded my expectations.  It is not the greatest thing ever, but it shows, that with a somewhat small budget, a good idea and love for the project, something more than mediocre can be achieved.

In 2018, an American moon mission stumbles upon the Moon Nazis, who fled to the dark side of the moon in 1945. By now , they have a gigantic moonbase,  lots of ships and the Götterdämmerung, a super-destroyer, that has yet to be finished. The Nazis version of the death star, you could say. They capture one of the astronauts and suspect him of being part of an  advanced mission  from earth to attack them. . Alarmed by this encounter, they prepare to attack earth….

 But I really don`t wanna spoil it for you too much.

I can tell you, the moonbase and the ships, all scenes in space look great, especially if you consider the budget. The sets look great and convincing, nothing looks really cheap.

Udo Kier makes an appearance as the moonbase”Führer”, Götz Otto is his right hand with aspirations of becoming the next Führer, Christopher Kirby is funny as the American astronaut , pretty much everybody fits their roles well. A crazy scientist is also on board.

The American  president is a Sarah Palin-look-alike, fitting very well into this thing, that is comedy, parody, exploitation and maybe a little social commentary, all rolled into one.

Simply a good ride. There is no gore or nudity, if you are looking for that, move on.

But jokes there are plenty, in every direction, but mostly towards the Nazis, of course.

If you go into it without high expectations, or the wrong ones, you will find plenty to like and to laugh here. For once, we have actual germans playing the germans, too often the Nazis are played by non-germans, resulting in terribly delivered german lines.

I had a great time with this-I say: Check it out!!!! It had or has a limited theatrical release in several countries, and the DVD and BlueRay  is set to come out later this fall.

Leave the popcorn on the shelves, grab some Bratwurst with Sauerkraut instead and enjoy IRON SKY!!!!

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The Taint (2010)


Directed by Drew Bolduc & Dan G Nelson

Wow, just wow!!!

I expected a lot, and then not much at all from The Taint.

I read a good review about it, before I watched it. And honestly, at first watch, it was a bit too much and I didn`t grasp the whole thing. It needed a second and a third viewing to fully realize what this is. In my humble opinion, it`s utterly brilliant, especially for such a low-budget thing. And it kinda made me wanna meet the guys who made it. It seems to me, we would get along just great.  I won`t give you a rundown of the whole film,I´ll just try to mention a few things and hopefully , make you wanna see this thing.

The story is simple, the water gets tainted(by whom or why I`ll let the film explain) with a

substance that makes men, and only men go wild. Soon almost every man around is a sex-crazed zombie, looking for women to kill. So besides being uncontrollably horny, they also seem to hate women to the extreme, killing them in unspeakable ways.

The hero of the film is one of the few who aren`t yet tainted .

Out of nowhere, he finds himself  surrounded by insanity. But hell, watch it…I shouldn`t spoil it. I´ll add a trailer, to help you get an idea of it.

The acting is not the greatest and then again in parts just right, most of it feels like they wanted it that way  exactly, which sure isn`t the case, but it all adds to the fun of it.

If you take this seriously, you cannot be helped. Also, from the very beginning, the soundtrack elevates the film greatly, from synth score to rockin guitar riffs, a soundtrack that can stand on it`s own. I am actually planning to buy that thing. Again, for a student film, with little money, this feels extremely well-made, the intro reminded me of the Laser Paradise intro( german-and I believe austrian film distributor).

Very 80`s, with a little tronesque sequence. Then it´s a bunch of boobs..and….insanity…

The beginning shows how the water gets tainted, with the help of reworked stock footage. Later in the film there is also an animated little cartoon . I like that when they switch styles in a movie…like in NBK or  Kill Bill.  Just saying…

This film contains more crazy, weird, insane , ballsy scenes than a lot of the movies that surely influenced it, like BAD TASTE, Italian Horror, zombie movies or rape-revenge flicks. From now on, this is the movie I would watch with a bunch of friends..and I did, just three of us, but still…It would be the perfect film to put in, just when your party starts to slow down…this motherfxxxxer of a film will surely kick the party back into gear.

Let the yelling and beer-spilling begin!!!

You are in for a treat..and be reminded, multiple viewing may be necessary to appreciate it.

So give it another spin, even if you don`t get it the first time around. I fell in “love “ with it after the third watch… Now-go see it already!!!

I really hope these guys keep making movies..

seems like the film since then has been picked up by troma? The trailer I picked seems to suggest that…and I hope they can keep it fresh, after this awesome debut. And forgive me for not mentioning all the great scenes in this..You can discover it all for yourself, almost unprepared.

You can order it here: DVD, T-shirt, soundtrack and even VHS,  it`s all covered.

http://www.taintmovie.com/


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BATTLESHIP (2012) mini-review-contains eventual spoilers


I enjoyed this, I really did. Although the build-up took half an hour or more, patience paid off later on.

They always try to cram some story in there, don`t they? A fuck up, who gets a chance to prove himself in a battle against aliens.

Speaking of Aliens, I really liked them. Until one of them gets beaten up by a black vet without (real)legs. Then they stopped beeing a threat , to me. It was just too silly, the way that scene played out.

There are plenty of clichés in this, and frankly I am tired of them sometimes. Why not try to avoid some of them at least?

But it`s a summer blockbuster, I know. There is no dialogue from the aliens, sadly. I would have appreciated a tiny bit of that.

And will they send more, despite the fact they couldn`t phone home?  The story is pretty weak, but again, its a summer blockbuster, not meant to make you think too hard…. Whenever the hero had his moments of doubt and pain, I tried not to pay attention, it`s always the same…it`s boooring.

As I said, I liked the aliens and their crafts, especially the critter-like blade-balls of destruction…Although a bit dissapointed in the general weapons they used, way too human for my taste.

Still a lot here to keep me entertained. The best scene, apart from the action itself, to me-were the old veterans emerging, when the question is put on the table who  should operate the battleship?

That was a nice scene somehow….

Still, in the end it played out too easy and left me wanting more, more depths, or more background info….but I guess it was the wrong film to expect anything like that… Prometheus should give me the satisfaction of  that kind…not too long before that opens..yeahh.. It was a good time, a no-brain-needed timewaster…wasted 2 good hours of my time.

And I didn`t mind.


REQUEST: Looking for Force :Five 1981


Maybe you can help me-I am looking for a copy of the Robert Clouse -directed movie FORCE: FIVE ,

it has a great cast, and from the scenes on youtube it looks like a fun watch.

If you are in possession of a copy, a vhsrip or anything like that, please let me know.

Of course I am willing to pay for eventual shipping costs, or maybe I have something to trade?

It is not a matter of life or death, I just would like to see it and maybe do a review on it, too.

Here are some details:

Joe Lewis … Jim Martin

Bong Soo Han … Rev. Rhee (as Master Bong Soo Han)

Sonny Barnes … Lockjaw

Richard Norton … Ezekiel

Benny Urquidez … Billy Ortega

Ron Hayden … Willard

Bob Schott … Carl

Pam Huntington … Laurie

Michael Prince … William Tark

Peter MacLean … Se. Forrester

Amanda Wyss … Cindy Lester (as Mandy Wyss)

Tom Villard … Disciple

Matthew Tobin … Becker

Mel Novak … The Assassin

Dennis Mancini … John


BLOODSPORT (1988) directed by Newt Arnold


Man, is this really necessary?

Thousands of reviews must`ve been written about this…but hell, I´ll add my 2 cents anyway.

This film singlehandedly made me into a VAN DAMME nut for years to come. I´ve cooled down since then,

but boy, have I spend money on this guy, you have no idea.

It made me start up karate and I collected every snippet on JCVD I could possibly find,

sometimes buying magazines for a single page story, etc. etc.

I worked in a cinema for years and got my hands  on all the posters, banners and

in one case a 35 mm film roll of the trailer to UNIVERSAL SOLDIER 2.

I won`t spend time to tell you the plot, as you should know it by now…

As a teenager, these kind of films made a huge impression on me, as did Rocky or Rambo or anything Arnold.

Van Damme couldn`t have asked for a better entry into the realm of action stars, this film was much debated between us teens, and wars broke out over who would/could possibly kick his ass? Chuck Norris? Bruce Lee, The Hulk? Bud Spencer?

The craziest thing I have ever heard about VAN DAMME was this: That he implanted rubber bands into his legs…hellyeah…sure…

Not long ,before I was an expert about anything VAN DAMME. I tried to track down his early works, in most cases with success, one or two left open to debate, still.  I ended up owning a collection worth showing off to even the most hardcore fans. I imitated him and all that..looking back, a little ridiculous, but that`s what teenagers do, don`t they….

Can`t hurt to have an idol or two, as long as it isn`t Charles Manson. VAN DAMME polarized, just like AXL ROSE or BORIS BECKER, some loved them some hated their guts..and I ended up defending him, taking it pretty personal  sometimes..also something you have to  and will grow out of….

What makes Bloodsport so great and made it leave such a huge impression on a whole genre, like only Bruce Lee did before that, are the diverse fights( MMA  and mixed martial arts are common now, back then it was quite exotic), the fatherly trainer, the perfect hero and a great villain. Add a few funny secret agents and a buddy ( Jackson) , and you have a perfect 90 minutes action flick. I must not forget the fighters themselves, a pretty colorful bunch. Also, the soundtrack wasn`t half bad. Typical 80`s aggro music that set the tone for the fights, plus asian sounds for authenticity. It is pure late 80`s action kitsch in perfection. It spawned an insane number of Bloodsport wannabe`s and birthed a new breed of action heroes, from Olivier Gruner to Don”The Dragon” Wilson etc…

Although my fanaticism has cooled down a lot, Bloodsport remains an unapolagetic personal favourite of mine.

I could go on writing about the production and lots of other details, but since this is all easy to access via Wkipedia or Google I shall spare you that . You probably know most of it already. One thing I will mention, though:

Van Damme took this film and recut it to the version we all know, after it got rejected by the studio, ending up in the vault. Thanks to him this film got saved from the trash, so to speak. For that we should salute him, or else we would`ve missed out on one of the most entertaining martial arts films in history and the subsequent flood of similar films and their stars. Thanks JC.. and thanks Newt Arnold, for images burned forever in my brain.

You Jackson? You look like a Jackson.


MOON 44 (1990)


Directed by Roland Emmerich

In 2038, the resources of earth are drained and mankind has moved into space, to mine on different moons. Two of the biggest mining corporations are at war with each other. The Galactic Mining Corporation has lost all but one moon to their rival Pyrite (sounds a lot like pirate-doesn`t it?). As if that is not enough, a few of the mining robots go missing(complete with the mined materials). Security agent Felix Stone (Pare) is sent to investigate and to form a defense force  out of prison inmates.

This was one of the first tapes I watched since forever…just got back into collecting VHS tapes and my brother had a spare VCR, so put in the tape….

I got this from a big film flee market recently, and it`s one of those I always passed on in the video store, for unknown reasons. This was Emmerich´s last film made in Germany. After it kinda bombed( compared to his earlier effort JOEY), he moved on to direct Hollywood movies and landed a hit with Universal Soldier. The rest is history…For such a small budget , he created a believable world and great set pieces. It definitely looks great.

He also produced this and was one of the screenplay writers.

I liked this film. It wasn`t an all-out action film, rather a good mix of drama , suspense and action. A lot of the film deals with the persons and their problems, the action gets more and more towards the end, but it`s not an action piece per se. I would call it well-rounded, there are jokes and fights, helicopter  battles, human drama..a bit of everything.

For the estimated 7 million german marks budget, you get a film that looks way more expensive, with great sets and a bunch of decent actors. I especially  enjoyed seeing Brian Thompson and Leon Rippy here, the rest of the supporting cast  wasn`t that bad as well- Malcolm McDowell shouldn`t be forgotten,Michael Pare, well…he is just a bit too boring for my taste. Don`t remember one film with him that made me think otherwise. But he was ok as the lead.  I remember nothing about the score, to be honest.

It was a surprisingly entertaining film, nothing special, but well worth a look. If nothing else, it showed that Emmerich was able to  make  the best out of the  limited budget and keep it watchable in the process.


Mega VHS HAUL


Today was a big film flee market in town, happens every few months, and there are awesome deals to be had.. my budget was well limited, but I managed to get 29 VHS and 5 DVDs.  Lots of big box VHS releases, a few are really nice bookstyle covers and the best? I finally found the GOD´S SECRET ARMY- VHS  I was rambling about in the Prophecy review…yeah..this is the version that came out first, and it`s the version I like best. Can´t believe my luck!!! Here are some pics…

Here the deal of the day, my long soughtafter VHS of GOD´S SECRET ARMY.

And a few more….

Australian VHS of THE SOLDIER with Ken Wahl


BAD ASS POSTER OF THE DAY!!!


Came across this poster, as I was browsing for phantom soldiers, this is a french poster, and its kinda big, too.

I am not affiliated with the seller, but I know that some of my dear readers have a certain interest in this film, so I thought I post about it…3 days to go…

here is the link:

http://www.ebay.de/itm/affiche-cinema-1987-PHANTOM-SOLDIERS-war-movie-poster-/350559528520?pt=FR_SK_DVD_Collector_Affiches&hash=item519ef9e648