Cult-Trash-Badass-Cinema -and more…

SURF NAZIS MUST DIE (1987) Directed by Peter George


I remember seeing this on the shelf of the Über-Horror video store we had in the late nineties, early Millennium, and it still exists. Its just, I didn`t have any money to spend in the last couple of years, plus the internet made it somewhat irrelevant as a source.

But it`s still a great atmosphere in such a cave of Gore and Violence, especially when you are just getting into it. A lot to explore, but anyway…Surf Nazis was a title that they sure as hell carried. Therefore, it must be good , right?

Sadly, no…it sucks ass… actually, that`s an insult to the practice of sucking ass, I´m pretty sure there are some people, who actually enjoy that.

The film is about a group of teens and twens, who call themself surf nazis. Some big-ass quake destroyed the coast of California, 80.000 or so dead, etc, etc..

Police has their hands full keeping order in the city, so the beaches are a lawless area, better not visited.

The Surf Nazis are a bunch of truly laughable characters, with names like Adolf, Eva and Mengele….at the same time, they do not at all represent anything like true Nazis . They just have swastikas on themselves in various forms, including their surfboards. And Adolf, naturally the leader , is aiming for control of the whole beach area.

Now, having seen quite a few Troma movies, it seems like I was lucky so far, til I decided to watch this crap.

I totally enjoyed several Toxies, Class of Nukèm High and a few others, they all were waay better than this.

The story moves along awfully slow, bloody moments are very few and badly executed. The Surf Nazis are not menacing at all, the footage of surfing dudes is shown multiple times, which steals a lot of time to make the movie long enough to be called a feature. Its just 80 minutes , including the credits.

The killing of the black guy, who`s mother  later avenges him, isn`t even shown, only hinted at. And I watched the Director`s Cut…

That said mother`s killing spree(if you wanna call it that) also doesn`t live up to expectations.

The whole film has no pace, no sense of suspense. Even I understand the need for stuff like that, if you wanna make your film watchable, low-budget or not. If you would cut it down, so that it may get a little bit of that, it would be no longer than 30 minutes. The dialougue is stupid, but not fun stupid-just stupid. It is all bad, from start to finish.

A waste of my time, and yours-if you would decide to risk it. But I´d recommend you to avoid this like the plague.

I didn´t get the “so bad its good “vibe, just plain bad and boring.  If you still enjoy it, we have a quite different value

system.

 

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One response

  1. Wow! This sounds like a piece of shit. Thanks for the warning! I never really had the urge to check this one out, but now I know I never will. Great review buddy!

    March 8, 2012 at 12:10 AM

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