Cult-Trash-Badass-Cinema -and more…

THE TIME GUARDIAN (1987)


Directed by Brian Hannant

Well, I was aware that this might not be the best movie of all times.

And it isn`t. But I liked a few things about it, and when I didn`t like something, I was able to laugh.

The main failure here was the script, I guess. The dialogue is so bad, and the acting follows suit, for the most part.

This is a bait and switch movie, as both Dean Stickwell and Carrie Fisher are  top billed for rather short appearances.

Plot:

In the future, about 4000 AD or something, the last humans are living in a city that can travel through time(ok?).

They  are under constant threat by the Jen-Deki, a race of evil Cyborgs. They plan an escape to the australian outback of 1988, but the last fight left the ship with damages, so that it`s  unable to land properly. Time Guardian Ballard and Petra are sent to 1988 to prepare the landing in Australia by piling up some rocks so the city-ship won`t fall over…sounds stupid, right?

It totally is…

Arriving in 1988 , they get into trouble with the outback police, since a trucker died in an accident, caused by the Jen –Deki. Ballard also runs into a female geologist, who is interested in them australian rocks, who bare inscriptions or pictures of the time-travelling ship. Seems like the Aborigines have knowledge about that ship somehow. Well, the whole plot has more holes than  swiss cheese, the movie almost feels like split in two, the scenes on the mothership/city`s command post  are really bad,  Stockwell is phoning in his part, which could have been played by just anybody, really.

The script is piling up mistakes and WTF moments  like a machinegun is shooting bullets.

The only really redeeming thing may be the robot-like Jen-Deki, who look kinda cool, and the action sequences, which feature some explosive gun play, but looking at the better parts of the movie, you realise, just how much was done wrong here, in general.

Some of the costumes look like Star Trek rejects, why is it that future fashion must look like this? Who decided that the`ve lost any taste in fashion in the future? A more simplistic, military look would have been of great relief here. You wonder, with all the money spent on special effects, which aren`t half bad, nobody seems to have cared for a more polished script. Who greenlit a script like this, giving them 8 million AUD to make this?  The Jen –Deki have already figured out they`d land in Australia, so why do they still  plan to go there…it is just a mess of a story.

If you decide to watch this, maybe try and count the wtf moments and plotholes.

It wasn`t so bad that I would have wanted to push the stop button, but it isn`t  going to play in my household in the near future, either.

Even the trailer is a hackjob…

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2 responses

  1. i have to admit, the trailer sold me on it and makes me want to actually check it out. lol.

    November 17, 2011 at 9:20 PM

  2. Reblogged this on FedUpYours' Blog.

    January 18, 2014 at 11:29 AM

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